Skip to main content

How The "Illuminati" Tried to Recruit Me

One of my work friends, Craig, has a sideline job selling cars online and over the phone.

As you do when following people that you hope will follow you back, like your photos and buy from you, one of the people he followed inboxed Craig to see if he wanted to join the illuminati. Craig found it funny and decided to post it in the work lad's group chat. 

But I thought to myself - what if he was for real?
What if I could also be part of the Illuminati, just like Jay Z?
So, I sought out the username from Craig's screenshot. Here's a picture of his profile.
He seems like he does pretty well, dressed in a suit, meeting people in offices, going to weird looking ceremonies. This is real, I thought to myself. I'm going to become rich and famous overnight just by being online buddies with this guy!
Feeling like that one-button-tap was my ticket, I tapped it. And now I was following Zackmarkd!
Almost instantly, as if he had his phone in his hand when I clicked that follow button, he got in touch. Here's our Instagram messaging conversation:
In the next message I sent him my number.



ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!
So there I left it, for all of 2 minutes.
Then, the Grand Master got in touch! Wow! These guys move so fast!
Wow! These guys must see so much potential in me if the Grand Master is getting in touch, shouldn’t he be sacrificing a goat or burning a big owl? Anyway, I acted respectfully: i wanted to see where this is going, so here’s our Whatsapp chat:
At this point, I’m getting a bit skeptical. They’re inviting me in with open arms! Surely I’d need to apply?
I think I might be breaking number 11 right now: Oops, sorry, Grand Master!
The following details are not true, but I thought weird enough for him to question.
Now he wants official documents? Well, I wonder why! This, along with the ropey English, confirmed to me he’s got ulterior motives. Time to scam the scammer!
I wish I could have done more to try to get him to send me money, to see if he even would offer (I wouldn’t have actually taken it, the above email address  isn’t real, so wouldn’t be connected to a paypal account). But, he asked for a picture of me.
Damnit, that was clever. He’s got me at a stalemate here. Now I have to send him a picture. My thought process went as follows:

  • He believed all of that stupid information in the form that I filled out
  • He could potentially believe any picture I send over.
I originally thought of sending a picture of a friend of mine, but then at the last second decided to google image “Nigerian Prince” (from the old school scamming emails).
Nevermind, it doesn’t look like I’ll be joining the illuminati, after all!
In the case that he is real, and I have passed on the chance of joining the real illuminati, OR if you want to have a go at trolling him, the guy’s number if you’d like to Whatsapp him is +90 537 228 34 09. (Shoutout to @craigplayerscars).
Good luck!

Also, if you can think of any ways I could keep this reverse scam going, get in touch on Twitter @mjtucker to give me some ideas!


Comments

  1. WELCOME TO ILLUMINATI,; the Club of the Rich and Famous; is the world oldest and largest fraternity made up of 3 Millions Members.We are one Family under one father who is the Supreme Being. In Illuminati we believe that we were born in paradise and no member should struggle in this world. Hence all our new members are given Money Rewards once they join in order to upgrade their lifestyle.; interested viewers should contact us; on..(ymcmbworldmoney@outlook.com) (ymcmbworldmoney@gmail.com )or call Mr Andrew fore more info..+2349035553397

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to make the most of ideas as they hit you.

1. Write down the basics and whole point of the idea as soon as possible.
Ideas can pass through your mind like a signal. Most will hit you seemingly out of nowhere, so you need to capture the outlines and as much detail while the “signal” is still strong.

Picture credit: New 1lluminati On Flickr
That way, when you find time to work on it, you can trace your steps and work out what you were thinking at the time, and your mind understands the context much more deeply than a simple sentence/word that you may go back to.



I use Evernote to take the first jottings down, then make a Google Drive folder for the next step.



Google Drive allows you to collect files of all sort of format in one place and you can access it from most devices.

2. Make sure it doesn't already exist! There is nothing more gutting than coming up with an awesome idea, putting some work into it and thinking you've come up with something that could change the world/your life in some way, only to hear someone passing by …

What Qatar was like in 2006

Why I was there.  In 2006, after having just finished secondary school, I moved to Qatar. With my parents, obviously. How many 16 year olds can afford to piss off to another country just like that? My dad found an oil and gas job that was worth the move, so that's what happened.

Initially, I was upset about leaving my life in Sunny Middlesbrough, but as I landed and felt how hot it was, I rapidly got over it. I could tell from the moment we stepped off the plane at 5am with the sun just on its way over the horizon that I was in for an adventure.

I went through my first year of sixth form there.


Here's a picture that I took of our "Common Room", a doubled-up, air conditioned portacabin at Doha College. I took that photo,

Surroundings Although I haven't been in years, I imagine they're still building and building and building. Malls, Stadia, huge office towers and banks, even "old-style" marketplaces (known as souqs).

Back then, the city was a buildi…