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Showing posts from April, 2017

How The "Illuminati" Tried to Recruit Me

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One of my work friends, Craig, has a sideline job selling cars online and over the phone.

As you do when following people that you hope will follow you back, like your photos and buy from you, one of the people he followed inboxed Craig to see if he wanted to join the illuminati. Craig found it funny and decided to post it in the work lad's group chat. 
But I thought to myself - what if he was for real? What if I could also be part of the Illuminati, just like Jay Z? So, I sought out the username from Craig's screenshot. Here's a picture of his profile. He seems like he does pretty well, dressed in a suit, meeting people in offices, going to weird looking ceremonies. This is real, I thought to myself. I'm going to become rich and famous overnight just by being online buddies with this guy! Feeling like that one-button-tap was my ticket, I tapped it. And now I was following Zackmarkd! Almost instantly, as if he had his phone in his hand when I clicked that follow button, he go…